Update: Had the talk on Sunday. I finally unloaded what I've been keeping in my chest for the longest time. Told him that his inaction to figure things out before has hurt me and has taken its toll on my self-esteem and confidence, and that I have been feeling lonely in the marriage.

He mentioned that since I've started doing my own thing (sports, traveling, etc), he has felt a little jealous and felt a bit of a spark again, and that he still loves me. Told him that the thought of being intimate with him now makes me uncomfortable. I begged him to see a therapist to figure stuff out about himself and he has since been searching for one. He's also apologised for waiting this long to finally acknowledge the problem. We'll see how this turns out this time.

No DMs please.

Been married 12 years and 5 years together before tying the knot. DB for two years now since I stopped initiating. I have brought up the issue of us being in a rut, living like roommates, how I would always initiate, and how he seemed to be not so into it during sex multiple times. Have also gone to a therapist years ago to try fix the intimacy issue. I asked point blank several years ago if him not being attracted to me anymore is the reason why we're not having sex and he said that wasn't the case. Until now, I still don't know why he never initiates or why he doesn't show any signs of desire.

He is not cheating (works from home mostly) since he doesn't really go out a lot and doesn't have a lot of friends aside from our mutual ones. I have not caught him watching porn nor masturbating. He has had his levels checked years ago, and apparently they were okay.

I am at my wit's end trying to figure out the reason for our DB and would really want to have THE talk. Possibly ask about latent homosexuality or asexuality on his part? How does one even bring that up without making someone feel defensive right from the beginning?