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Shame and Distance in a relationship that’s lost its spark
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I’m feeling pretty conflicted and need to get this off my chest. My partner and I haven’t been intimate in what feels like forever, and, truthfully, I ended up exploring things outside our usual routine because I felt so disconnected from him. I was hoping that maybe if I brought something new into the mix, it would help us reconnect. But instead, he’s just pulled away even more. He seemed almost repelled by it, and now I feel embarrassed and even ashamed for trying.

It hurts to admit that I wanted to feel closer by trying something different. But now, I just feel like I made things worse, and the connection we had feels even more distant. Has anyone else experienced this kind of miscommunication? Or have you found ways to reconnect when it feels like you've both drifted apart??

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It’s rarely about the sex itself, which is why it didn’t have the effect you were hoping for. It can be about sexual incompatibility but it also is often about much deeper rooted relational and/or physical and/or mental issues. Without more context it’s impossible to know here. But if you’re not sure either then I’d start with having that conversation with them, on why they believe you aren’t on the same page with intimacy. If they won’t be clear then you might have a decision to make.

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1 month ago