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I don’t want to be angry any more. I just need my brain to shut up. I try to talk and communicate and ask questions. I try to respect her wishes and do not pressure and all the things. So why do I feel like such a piece of garbage when after another 10 dry spell I ask about how she’s doing? She’s the one who brought up making changes, 6 months ago. She told me she needed to change and it was going to take time and it was going to be baby steps. I respected that. I gave her space. I gave her time. I tried not to do anything different. So I asked today, not mentioning that it’s been 10 weeks. Not saying that I haven’t seen anything. I just asked how she thought it was going, for her. I didn’t even mention me. She told me it’s going horrible. And it’s my fault but then she couldn’t tell me what I did to make it go horrible. So now I’m just mad. I’m mad that I’m berating myself. I’m mad that, yet again, I let myself get fooled. I’m so tired of being angry.
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- 2 months ago
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