My (22F) boyfriend (27M) have been together over a year and our sex life has reached a point where it constantly upsets me. We have sex about twice a week but there is hardly ever any foreplay. Typical sex lasts 1-3 minutes and ends when he gets off. I give him head almost every time we have sex but he doesn’t do anything for me. He doesn’t touch me sexually really at all, not my breasts or my clit. A couple months ago I casually asked him why he never goes down on me and his response was that he didn’t even realize he wasn’t doing it.

Although this response didn’t make sense to me, I accepted it and hoped he would try. Well, he didn’t. So I brought it up again a couple weeks later. Still no change. After the third time bringing it up, and breaking down because I didn’t feel wanted, he told me he doesn’t like himself and doesn’t understand why I like him, which leaves him afraid to disappoint me. But he’s disappointing me by never even attempting to me orgasm in a year of being together. It’s been about 2 months since I’ve had a conversation about it but it’s starting to drive me crazy again.

I need something to change in our sex life. I want him so badly and do not want to break up. How should I bring this up to him?