It’s been so long. Probably 10 years. I’m tired. I have had enough of low self esteem. I am an attractive successful guy who deserves more. I am fun and joyful but this feeling of not being wanted or desired is bringing me down. It’s time to make a change but it seems so hard. The kids will be out of the house soon. Lost in the feeling that I do not want to be the bad guy. Wondering if my spouse not having or holding me is a breaking of her vows? I don’t want to be the bad guy. I deserve love and respect. My last 30-50 years on Earth should be fun and should be spent with a partner that loves me for who I am and wants to do fun things like go to concerts, travel, look at the stars, make love, be vulnerable, fall asleep in each others arms. Why do I feel so guilty doing what I know is best for me? Why do I put everyone else before my own happiness?