Ok here it goes. Been battling a DB for 5 years. 3 of those were alone and just me improving myself in any way I could think of. Being an overall better husband, father and partner. We had our first talk 2 years ago. This is when she promised to do better and said she wasn't realizing because I never mentioned it before. Fair enough. Ive learned that LL's sometimes don't even realize they are LL. So with that, I start my campaign to return physical intimacy.

We had another talk 6 months later when things didn't improve. she promised again to improve and asked me to let her think about our sex life. that I have put in so much work, it is her turn. Fair enough. I am willing to give anything a chance at this point.

Meanwhile I have been:

-Working out. In the best shape of my life, better than when her and I met. As a result, my libido skyrocketed even more with no help coming. Nothing,

-I do 90% of the household chores. She recently said she feels lazy and bad for not helping. So we split some chores. Nothing

-I used to do all the cooking. She felt bad and wants to cook. So now we split that. Nothing

-Our kids are teenagers and one is driving so we don't have a ton of kid stress anymore. But I do what they need when they need it. Nothing

I am emotionally there for her every day, all day. We cuddle all the time. We agreed to sleep naked to see if that sparked anything. Now? We go to bed, i gently start rubbing her back and legs and the next thing I know, she is sleeping. Except now I am sleeping naked woman I find incredibly attractive. that is just all out tortue. But if I ask he to sleep with clothes, I might never see her naked again.

We recently had another talk and she is legit concerned i am eventually going to get fed up and leave. I didn't do anything to dissuade that thought because I am feeling like it is the only option left. But interesting this is on her mind yet she is either helpless to fix it, or is choosing not to.

I have made it clear that she absolutely shouldn't feel pressured to have sex with me. At any time, in any way. But equally, I shouldn't feel pressured to accept a life of celibacy just because one of us has a non-existent libido. It isn't even low, it just isn't there at all. She would be perfectly fine never orgasming again.

I am at a loss. I have done everything all the experts told me to do. Spent years working on it all and have not had a single positive result from it. Other than our relationship is probably the strongest it has ever been. We just don't have sex anymore.

What a fucked up existence. Never thought I would be here at my age.