I’ve felt a lot of shame about my sexuality throughout my life. I’ve known for a long time that I’m bisexual and enjoy kinkier sex and more often than what was portrayed in media to me growing up as normal for a woman. I only just realized there’s nothing wrong with me. I have my preferences just like other people have theirs, and they don’t reflect anything on me as a person in my daily life.

Unfortunately, I’ve realized this far too late, and after having two kids, the sex I used to get 3-4 times with my husband has become maybe once a month. We’ve talked about it multiple times, but nothing changes. Yesterday, I thought maybe sending him pictures would make him want me more. I asked him if it would help because I didn’t want to send it out of the blue and be disappointed, but all I got was an “I don’t know,” which means no.

Every time I try to initiate or do anything remotely sexy like this, I get turned down, and I start to feel ashamed and disgusting again. It’s getting to the point where I don’t even want to try anymore. I’m sure he just wants nonsexual affection for now, but I’ve been giving that for so long that I’m just tired and can’t muster it up any longer. I guess it’s time to have the talk again soon.