So we've (me 50HLM, her 53LLF) been in a db for over a decade now. Two grown up kids and so sex for over 7 years, although the occasional pity blow job every couple of months. We've had the talk a number of times, with promises to try, but nothing happens.

So this past weekend we had a really good day on Saturday. Got on really well, and as usual I was going up to bed and asked if she was coming too, she said she was, and as usual she only came up maybe an hour later after scrolling through random websites on her phone.

She gets into bed and snuggles up next to me, then starts kissing me. Wow I think, and I start to get turned on. She wraps her leg over me and I get very turned on. She looks at me and, smiling, says I just want to keep kissing you. No more than 30 seconds of kissing later, she brushes her hand against my erection and rolls back over, says "that was really nice" and then "good night". I lie there slightly shell shocked as I hear her start snoring within a few minutes. I roll over and cry myself to sleep.

Next morning I wake up feeling really low and horrible. Of course she picks up on this and gets really upset at me, saying that if that's how I'm going to be when she does something nice for me, she just won't bother in the future.

I now feel even worse. I know I should have reacted to it as a positive step, but after so many years of constant rejection and broken promises, I just wasn't able to react positively.

My girls don't know the full story (I hope!) but they know I'm unhappy. They want me to get therapy and I think that I probably do need to try and get support. Divorce isn't an option due to health and financial reasons, but I need to find a way to somehow deal with how I'm feeling.