I (35M) told my wife I’m choosing no sex over duty sex. This put me in a scary situation where I do not know when or if I’ll have sex again, but it is the right choice for me.

My wife to her credit cares about us. She’s never been a sexual person, don’t know/think she’s ever had an orgasm. She’s willing to “work on it”, but our libidos are galaxies apart. Barring some crazy sexual awakening deep down I fear we are sexually incompatible.

I spend most of the day consumed by resentment, and it’s defining our relationship. I’m not happy around her. I can’t get over the 9 years of no sex or bad sex. I can’t get over no sex or bad sex for the rest of my life. I can’t be a good husband or father holding onto this resentment. I don’t blame her entirely, not sure what you can do about it if your vagina prefers to be left alone. If she could choose to match my libido she would, unfortunately it’s not a choice. Besides the sex, she is perfect for me (which is like saying besides the chicken, this chicken sandwich is perfect). This is why I don’t think the entirety of my resentment is fair to her, and I need to let go of it.