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Okay. I’m M41. My gf, same age, have been in a dead bedroom going on two years . We’ve been together for 11 btw. Tonight she was acting like she did early on in our relationship. She was extremely nice and passionate. Talking dirty. Hell, she even went down on me which is something that rarely ever happened. She was legitimately turned on in a way I haven’t seen in a long time. I’ve been talking about my need for touch and sexual intimacy and the need to be wanted. So when it got down to actual banging I couldn’t get hard! It was the most devastating feeling on my part. After all this time. All the talking, and yes, some arguments as well. And I couldn’t perform. I feel it was nerves, pressure, and anxiety that lead to this. Anyone else experience this? Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. I feel awful. Mostly due to my gf now feeling that I’m not attracted to her anymore. Which is far from the truth. To me she’s the hottest woman I’ve ever been lucky enough to be with. I totally love her and we’re each others best friends.
Lean on her for support and understanding - it sounds as if she’s worthy of your vulnerability. Hearing from her that your performance anxiety is nbd and getting her reassurance might be just the ticket.
That’s a very short-sighted analysis.
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I know this is going to sound counterintuitive but you need to relax, give yourself some grace, and trust that things will return with time and exposure. The more you worry about this and try to force a solution the less success you’re likely to have.