After many, many years (12 plus) of little to no sex....once a year average. Two or three times a year if I'm lucky....I find myself in a situation where I realized the full extent of the problem. Slow on the uptake, I know. Since having the realization a year ago, we tried therapy. It brought up ALOT of pain. But nothing really changed. After 6 months, therapy stopped. I now find myself at a point where I'm emotionally withdrawing. It isn't intentional, but I just don't desire her anymore. And now, I'm finding that I don't care.

This morning is an example. She got worked up and upset over something. And I found it very, very difficult to care. I sat there and drank my coffee. I felt nothing. She noticed and tried to talk about it, still nothing. I don't know how to make myself care. Just like she doesn't know how to get herself to desire sex.

It is very sad. I've grieved immensely over the past year, but I'm on the verge of not caring any more. I'm not sure if that is a good thing, but it seems to be the reality. I say that, and in several weeks, something will happen that care will flare up. But right now, I don't even care enough to fight with her.

I know it is this is terrible. I want to care about her feelings and emotions, but I just can't right now and that isn't something that I must up. This leads me to lack hope that it can ever be restored.