LLF here, been struggling with mixed libido for our entire relationship. At one point I was one of those girlfriends who recoiled when my bf would kiss me. It's been rough.

Part of getting to where we are now has been a LOT of communication. It has been so hard to describe to my partner how it feels to be low libido, and why I cant just force myself to have sex when I don't want to.

My bf has been patient with me, and we have been learning together. It got to the point where when we started having sex more again, he was not able to get it up because he felt so much pressure. Today he finished pretty easily and I feel so happy.

Some advice for other low libidos trying to improve their sex life 1) practice mindfulness. By this, I mean when you get a feeling that you're partner is coming onto you and you don't want to have sex, ask yourself why? Where are these feelings coming from? Practice mindfulness when you're in the mood too! Try to gather information on what is affecting your libido 2) take a break from sex if you need to. For me, a big part of the tension was knowing my bf wanted sex, and I wasn't providing that. Do that for a few months and it becomes quite a big barrier because he was always reaching, and I was always shrinking away. Neutralize that, and use that time to be intimate with your partner in other ways. 3) Stop reading posts from this sub reddit if you need to. At certain points, I would spend hours reading posts from HL partners who resent their LL partner. It always made me feel like that must be how my bf feels about me. But you don't know how your partner feels unless you communicate. Sometimes the posts here can be a downer, especially for low libido peeps. Don't assume that your partner feels the same way.