This post has been de-listed
It is no longer included in search results and normal feeds (front page, hot posts, subreddit posts, etc). It remains visible only via the author's post history.
For context, I was “caught” using porn 8 weeks ago. Resulted in a blow up fight between wife and i. Words were exchanged, I left the house for a few days, upon my return, the sex has been off the chain. 4-5x a week for the last 8 weeks. This LAST week was 2, and i was noticeably irritable cuz i was rejected “like the past” and this was something that our couples therapist suggested as well as her own therapist.
I guess I’m wondering if this is even really worth it. I have always been able to beat off since i was a teen (40m now) and porn has always had some involvement in my life. So the last 8 weeks was probably the longest I’ve gone without. I feel fine, but I’ve also had my wife be ON it, and after the last 7 days of “only” getting it twice, I realize i probably need a reset. I’ve always told her i dont give a shit that other couples have sex 1-2x a week, i want it 4-7x. Simply put, I LIKE to fuck everyday. Just about. With rare exception do I NOT want to blow my load in her.
Is that going to change after abstaining from orgasming for 30 days? My bday is end of the month as well, so maybe it would be a good time to “resume” sex.
My concern is that I’m going to be insanely horny and it’s gonna be distracting. Any can speak with experience about abstaining?
I fully understand and agree with the damage porn does to the male brain- and I’m (I think) on the other side of that. Finally.
I’ve already gone 2 months without porn, same time for masturbating (except slipped once, but not to porn) - but I never took sex off the table. Sex with wife has been great [recently] but still oral was not common, and I was really craving my wife, lustfully, the last 8 weeks.
Now I’m taking sex off the table for 30-days. Also alcohol for shits n giggles. Basically semen retain for 30-days. See what happens
To be clear, i have stopped watching porn for the last 8-9 weeks myself. I am talking about abstaining from ANY sex acts or orgasming of any kind. Supposedly it’s helpful to re-wiring the brain as you have said. However, it is making me question if this is actually going to be something productive or am i going to slug through this thing and still wind up wanting to fuck 2x a day?
Also, wondering as a ~41/HLM, should i be expected to blow a load in my pants in the middle of the night? Lol
Subreddit
Post Details
- Posted
- 3 months ago
- Reddit URL
- View post on reddit.com
- External URL
- reddit.com/r/DeadBedroom...
I’d say thanks for your response and kudos for you and your bedroom. How long yall been married? Yes I’m doing the reset, but just wondering if it’ll change anything.
The “blow my load in my pants” was a little tongue in cheek for wet dreams.
I completely agree, I need to be okay with going a length of time without sex and still feeling the connection with my wife.
I guess the problem is if she’s LL and “too tired” too often, I’m gonna revert right back to feeling resentful for being lower on the priority ladder than “all the things”