35HLM married 3 years with 35LLF, together for 10. Never had a great sex life but working on it. Wife let me film us having sex for the first time, so I could at least masturbate to her if she wasn’t in the mood, it completely backfired. We’ve never had any sort of sexual connection, but seeing it on screen took the sadness to another level. I have no expectation for it to look like porn, but it might as well have been me with a sex doll. This really turned me off to the occasional duty sex, which I previously viewed as better than nothing—but now I’m not so sure. Duty sex is in a way a reminder that my wife has no sexual desire for me whatsoever.

What do yall advise when duty sex is on the table? Are you better off without, or is it a starting point for hopefully better sex down the road?