My gf isn't a bad person. But she's very traumatized around sex. Before we met she had a bdsm toy collection and apparantly would get "dripping wet" all the time

Then she went through an abusive relationship and became sex repulsed. At first I couldn't tell because she was always drinking, which would loosen her up enough to kiss or get sexual

Then a few months in I realize she never initiated sober, never touched me, kissed me, etc. She could never get wet even with lengthy foreplay. I tried to talk to her about it many times and she would have a breakdown and tell me to just be patient and wait

When we met she had gained maybe 30lbs from her "usual" size. Over the next 3 years she gained 80 more pounds. She's yoyo'd between gaining and losing the same 40 pounds. She can't/won't do many positions because of her weight

For a long time I was still attracted to her, but she would constantly push away my sexual or affectionate advances which lead to me becoming really resentful / depressed

I stopped being as attracted to her and just disregarded sex for that middle year of our relationship. I started hitting the gym solo and ended up getting in the best shape of my life

Anyhow, I tried to leave a couple months ago but she said she would kill herself and had a convincing plan. Then she apologized and now has been acting more affectionate than ever

Over the last year she finally started to go to therapy and will touch me a bit (hugs & cuddles) but she still never initiates sex other than by bringing it up (as in "why haven't we done it in a while? Are you gonna screw me today?" Etc). She also stopped drinking so much

If I ask her about sex she says that she likes doing it with me, and that she would miss it if it was gone. And lately she sends me sexual memes / makes sexual jokes which is so odd given our lack of sex life

But she never kisses me on her own, takes my clothes off, touches my body, gives me a bj, etc. She just brings it up then waits for me to do 100%

If I stop making movements or telling her explicitly what to do, she freezes up and doesn't do anything

I know this is a trauma response and I feel bad for her. And I know she's improved a lot. But I still don't want to put up with this for the rest of my life (I'm 25) and idk what to do

TL;DR

My gf pushed me away for 2 years. Now she seems to want sex but still won't do anything physically aside from bringing it up in conversation

I'm not really that attracted to her anymore, partially because of her weight gain but mostly because she pushed me away for 2 years and now wants sex without any reciprocation on her part