This is a bit of a long one k think, and probably confusing so bare with me. I'm a 29-year-old man, married to my 26-year-old wife for almost four years. We have two wonderful sons, who mean the world to me. However, our sex life has significantly declined over the past two and a half years. Reflecting on our relationship, I realize that even before we got married, our sexual connection wasn’t as consistent as I would have liked.I understand that marriage is about more than just sex, but physical intimacy is a crucial way for me to feel connected to my partner. It's how I express love and feel loved in return. Lately, though, I feel more like we're roommates than romantic partners.Our current situation doesn't help—I'm on first shift at work, and she's on third, so we rarely see each other. When we do have time together, she often fills it with errands, chores, or activities, which leaves her too tired for anything else.We've had multiple conversations about the lack of intimacy, but they often feel one-sided. She says she’ll make an effort, but nothing changes. It’s reached a point where any sexual encounters are infrequent and unenthusiastic. I find myself feeling inadequate and disconnected, even though she insists she’s still attracted to me. She also says that she no longer recognizes herself and has lost her desire for sexual activity, despite once having a higher sex drive. she’s also become more involved in church, which seems to be putting even more distance between us. I’m not religious, and it feels like this is just one more thing keeping us apart.I’m at a loss. I love my wife and don’t want to lose her or my family, but I’m struggling with the lack of intimacy. I’m not interested in polyamory because I don’t want to introduce additional complications, but the situation is becoming unbearable. I feel like I’m stuck between wanting to maintain my family and needing to fulfill my own emotional and physical needs.I’m looking for advice on how to move forward because I genuinely want to save my marriage, but I’m not sure how much longer I can continue like this. Look, I'm very into sex, past relationships and old hook ups have proven this, I'm hooked on vaginal. Anal. Oral, toy play, mutual masturbation, Cumming in or on my partner, going multiple rounds, differnt positions, any time of the day, at home and in public, filming, photos, etc. As stated above I have had multiple one sided conversations with her, and I express that I would like to cum on her face, breasts, pussy, ass, belly, fuck multiple times a day etc, try different positions, experiment with toys, and filming and photography, But when we are intimate- AND ITS RARE, and never the full experience, it's either just the world's most unenthusiastic hand job where she falls asleep halfway through with a death grip on my cock. And nothing else Or, even more rare (once every 2-3 months) after constant begging, a blowjob, if one could call it that, too much teeth, mostly on the tip of my pens and rarley half of it in her mouth, no stroking with the hands, no titty fucking, no spit or saliva. And then the worst one, maybe 3-4 times this year alone have we had innercourse. Of course only vaginally, but none of the foreplay mentioned above. Just penetration, and only on her back, I'm only allowed to cum inside of her. I have continually expressed and pleaded with her that I want extremely sloppy blowjobs. With spit and gagging. The use of hands, breasts and mouth, I want to be able to cum on her face breasts pussy. Ads, belly, in her mouth or inside of her. She has continually said she would make this effort, and the only thing for certain that happens is the distance between any sexual activity only gets further and further apart. She has lingerie that she never wears, toys she never uses. And I feel absoloutley fucking defeated and miserable and disconnected. Now I gotta drink to pass the time and stare at the maim video of a video game because I never have the drive to boot up and do anything because I'm so damn miserable. I have tried for years to fix this situation. I'm only 29! I've had more sex in a week when I was single, and I've married the love of my life and now suddenly I'm essentially a permanently friend zoned roommate? This is not fair to me or to her, but I don't want to lose everything. So I'm seeking the help of reddit.