My wife and our sex life have changed beyond recognition over the past few years. We’re in our late forties and have been together for over 20 years. Until recently she was the driving force sexually, always adventurous always making an effort and often bringing me out of my comfort zone.

In the past two years the the way I can describe it is that she’s turned into her mother. No more dressing to look good, disapproving comments about women wearing clothes that she would have worn without a thought- stuff like that.

In the bedroom it’s always me who will initiate and mostly get turned down. When I don’t and we actually have sex it’s like she’s a different person to her old self. She no longer can cum through penetration but is sometimes able to cum dry humping although it’s getting rare. She was previously very open about her sex life before me and I know that she enjoyed some great sex. I’ve ended up telling her to think about these guys as she’s dry jumping and grinding and she always orgasms. When it comes to then having sex I cum within a minutes and she goes to sleep.

My sexual satisfaction is now gained through remembering and reliving in my head the stories she shared about her younger days before me. This is becoming an obsession and also making me angry sometimes about how I’ve ended up with the tame version of a very fun girl.

My confidence is at rock bottom - we were so much better than this and I’m wondering if there’s a trigger that can get us going again or is it just the way things go?

PS - like most this age we’ve got the pressure of children with exams, work etc etc.

Thanks