I 30m have talked to her 30f about how I feel and how she makes me feel, explained that she makes me feel unattractive and undesirable and unwanted, like we're just friends and I'm letting her live with me while I support her financially.

I adore so much about her but she doesn't put in effort for me, I am hugely romantic and physical, and i put in a ton of effort to make her comfortable and happy but it feels like I am the only one putting in effort, and even when she does do something it feels like weaponized incompetence. She seems to basically be asexual but has absolutely zero self reflective ability and terrible communication so even telling me what she likes or doesn't like or what works etc is an incredibly difficult process. We've been together 5 years almost, and I ache at the thought of not being with her but I don't know what else to try.

I mean I tried helping her with a balanced diet and doctor recommended vitamins and unless I specifically gave them to her she wouldn't take them and acted like I was doping her up on meds. But it was just regular one-a-day vitamins.

I recognize she is a low energy individual, but I mean we're in a relationship, shouldn't we both be trying to make efforts for the sake of the other? Every time we talk about sex and intimacy issues it always ends up with me having to put in even more work and her not having to do anything. She says she likes erotic texts but her replies kill my mood and feel uninterested and I'm supposed to keep that energy going for weeks before she's ready to have sex? But I'm not worth her doing any self motivation or exploration so we can both have fun and feel good?

There's so much more than just that going on but that's kinda the biggest issue right now and I just don't know what more I can do. What is next? Because I think asking for couples counseling could help.

TL;DR, my girlfriend doesn't make me feel like I'm worth putting in effort for and discussions tend to lead to me doing even more than I already am. What should I try next?