Tried to touch her and make a move back in March (its been like since June 2023 since we’ve done the deed)

Shame on me I picked the wrong night. But there’s no normal nights. I mended this up in some other messages but I’m wondering if anyone has any other ideas.

I’ve been very cautious and not really initiated anything since. Anything that’s happened organically has typically ended in sleep on her part.

I know I’ve mentioned to you before as well, when it is a school night and already super late is not when I want to make out. Especially on a night where I’m dealing with extreme kid bullshit. On a night when I’m having to make decisions on which absolutely necessary personal hygiene task I’m going to sacrifice and skip is not when I have time to fool around. Those sacrifices are being made so I can try to get to sleep ASAP once taking a few minutes to wind down and catch up on my phone. You do your wind down from whenever Kid 2 goes to bed (which I try to push as early as possible) through when I shower and am put through the Kid 1 ringer nightly, as well as while I’m still completing household tasks (like stocking groceries). You’re on your phone scrolling, chatting, laughing. Which is fine. Everyone needs some personal time. But electronics aren’t put on chargers, neighborhood yard sale posts aren’t made, etc. and it causes problems. I am going 100 mph until I physically hit the bed because of having to shower so late at night, at which point I take a few minutes to gather my thoughts, look over msgs people have sent me throughout the day, set alarms, and catch up with the world with a quick scroll. Inevitably, it feels like you’re looking over my shoulder, tapping fingers, sighing about me taking a moment to decompress in the smallest way. Usually I am so tired at this point that I am falling asleep with my phone in my hand and just give up. I try to roll over toward your direction to satisfy your physical touch love language need (though it is not mine love language), but inevitably it turns into some sexual crotch/boob rub when I can’t even keep my eyes open but am trying not to offend you. Also, when I am rolling over to lay flat for a minute because my back hurts is not when I need the full weight of a grown man to lay on me adding his own full body to the painful mix. Nor on top of my lungs when I’m already struggling with remaining cough, which you well know.

I don’t want to be rude, but I feel like it’s actually rude toward me. Or extremely unaware, at the very least. I am tired of sexually charged “massage” being passed off a a therapeutic attempt. No person is like “Man, I’ve had a long day. I’m beat. My tits and crotch sure could use a massage.” Nor does anyone with a sore body part think “You know what sounds great right now? Someone laying on my hurting body part.”