Glad i found this group! I (38m) have been with my wife for 20 years (13 of which is marriage). We have 3 beautiful kids.

Early in the relationship I think we had an intimate and active sexual relationship. But over the past 3-5 years it has been anything but.

In the past i haven't let it get to me and just moved on, however lately it has really started to dawn on me...is this really what the rest of my life will look like ?

She had to stop working as it was better for her to become a stay at home mum but I'm not sure if this is one of the reasons for her lack of intimacy. I'm just not sure if she notices me anymore or that she is contempt with not having to do anything anymore. She has become quite lazy in her day to day life (always on instagram, sleep, lying down) but she won't accept that.

Whenever I talk to her about my frustrations, she always argues back.

I'm at the height of my sexual desires and would like her to be on that same journey with me. But whenever I bring things up with her, she always comes out with the usual excuses (kids, tired, period, headache etc). It's just not an enjoyable experience.

I've gone to the extent of buying her toys or watch porn to try and boost her libido but even that gets us nowhere. Pleasing her has always been my number one priority and I always thought she would appreciate that, but I guess not 🤷

We are financially stable. I will always spoil her with gifts or surprises, again my priority has always been her.

Our sex life is basically once a month (if that) unless she's sick/period/tired. It is always me who has to engage and I know she does enjoy it! I just don't know if she believes these things are of no interest as our lives are now "complete" and there's no reason to engage?

She never kisses me unless it's on the cheek. I don't know if she thinks this is gross to her, but we haven't shared a kiss in years!! To me kissing is fundamental to intimacy, or so I thought.

I'm just not sure what else to do or where to go from here. I can't leave her and the kids are my life. I don't ask for much, just to feel that spark again.

Thanks for reading 👍