TLDR: DB in October, fixed in Jan, its back again. She says hormones, i say BS. Miss the sex… but not interested in being a second choice to anyone. Told her to figure out what she wants because i will not live like this.

First off… wow. Which flair to pick. The blue or the gray (grey).

Me (43M) and wife (43F). DB as last October. That was not a good time. Thought we recovered and then hit a snag in June. Had good sex as of june 5th. Amazing sex. Some wine, movies, sent the kid to grandmas, talked for hours… just good. Then the next week…. Flip. Almost back to the October behavior… disinterested in sex… then she goes to Vegas with her gay friends, I offered to go, but she said no thanks, then Complains that she was all alone and wished i was there…. Then disappears … comes back and says she is no longer interested in sex… says its hormones…which I get…but then after hearing comments about all the hot guys she meets it might be LL4U situation. Ive been hitting the gym again, addressing my hair loss, focusing on me again. Going to therapy to address my childhood traumas. Ive always thought she was hot and always attracted to her. I guess when you have pretty girl privilege you feel you can do whatever you want.

Its not the lack of sex that kills me, its the time. She got back from Vegas and spent 1 day with me, while locking the door to our bedroom and talking to her “friends” all night long for four days straight. In October I caught her sexting someone and she says its a not a big deal because it was a girl…. Which i dont believe. I know some people are poly. Just come out and say it. Why hide it.

She then goes on to say that people grow apart, married people dont stay in love, and the best line i hear, that I am not emotionally connected to her…

So i told her, we dont have to be married. We can be good parents separately instead of shitty partners together. Not looking for a roommate. Our kid will get over it. I have my faults like everyone else, but I put her first… and this is my reward. Nope.

So we will see what happens. Ill meet new people. Ill do me again. Ill be a good dad. If she is interested in being partners great, if not, im out. I won’t cheat. Not my thing. But im not going to pass up having good people in my life. I want to be married, she is the love of my life, but if she doesnt feel the same way, no need to waste time. I did that before. Not doing it again. Im doing everything in my power to avoid resenting her.