I go in waves where I set my mind to trying again because I love her and want to be with her physically. I have tried everything over the years but none of it has kept us from getting to this point which is currently at 6 years completely sexless and 15 years since my last bj.

The effort and attempts lead to so much frustration from being rejected and feeling so undesired that I inevitably give up and just accept that I'll be sexless the rest of my life. I accept it and it eases my mind because the expectation is gone but eventually the urges become too much. At that point I fear I may be tempted to stray but always manage to ignore anything that would cross the line and decide to give it another try to get her to be into me. And the cycle starts all over again.

I'm not necessarily looking for advice because I've tried it all but always up to chatting in general to help take my mind off of the frustration.