Follow on question... I am trying to figure out if in a normal marriage a man would still want sex with his wife (and be nice to her) even if she's very imperfect.

I have severe ADHD and struggle to keep the home clean (of my things.) I also do things like misplace items and run late to events. I've been working on improving in all these areas but no matter what I do, I seem to mess up.

When I mess up my husband speaks to me in a tone that can only be described as a father speaking to his child. I know that's a major turn off for me (reminds me of my asshole abusive dad) and I know it's also a huge turnoff for him.

It's pretty hard to imagine ever actually wanting sex w my husband after he treats me like that, even though his annoyance is justified. It esp hurts when he does this in front of our kids.

My only solution to stopping it has been to distance myself from him as much as possible, as well as to keep working on my actual issues. But it's hard feeling like I'm constantly walking on eggshells. He would never lay a hand on me, but I wonder if it's too late for him to see me as a woman and not a child, and if that's why he never wants to have sex with me.

For LLM - is this why you don't want your wife?

For HLM - do you treat you wife like a child sometimes?

For women - can you relate at all?