I 28M have been with my wife for 9 years, married 4 and it's already a dead bedroom. There's minimal spark, it almost feels like anything I ever get is either a chore or out of fear of losing me. I do 75% of the chores and am the sole source of income. Every morning I have to come home from a 12 hour shift and tidy up. If I don't do the dishes, I catch an attitude and a comment. She is a SAHM but they are never really home that much. They go out and do whatever they want. Things can go days without being cleaned up or attempted to be done. She's a phenomenal mother, and I love her in that role. She wants another child. But there is plenty of time for her to do her own things, and I have stressed myself over and over to be an equal and fair co-parent when I'm not working or sleeping, for work. Our family dynamic is amazing, and full of love. But, as a marriage I get no appreciation or affection ever. I'm an attractive beard/tats kind of guy, I am cleaned up and all that so I hope that's not the issue. We talk about things but its just that she is "never in the mood". For the longest time I'd hear the excuse that I never initiate but my rebuttal is that I'm tired of being rejected. I'm your husband, you should feel comfortable around me. I positively reinforce my love and lust for her, because yeah, she's hot and beautiful. And I'm not allowed to have sex toys, or self serving toys, or watch porn AT ALL. I feel so undervalued, under-appreciated and forgotten about as a husband. The least I think I can get is 5 minutes of appreciation when I do as much as I can for them. Sigh.