I (40 HLF) and my husband (41 LLM) have been working on improving our sex life. It has been better in terms of sheer quantity. Last year I think we had sex about 12 times.

I just don't enjoy it (with him) and I don't know what to do about that. I've been known to masturbate 1-4x a day, so my libido isn't the issue. We struggle with communication overall and I feel like our relationship isn't that great. The only way it gets better if I don't talk about my fears/hopes/concerns and pretend to be happy. That usually results in more sex, but then I don't want the sex.

The other night I got a hotel room and at night he was too tired for sex but in the morning I dressed up in a sexy costume. He was def turned on and we had sex. He kissed my neck for a little while but it didn't feel good how he was doing it. Then he started to finger me and I was so dry and it was painful. The angle wasn't good either. I'm pregnant and he got on top of me face down (he's a heavier guy) and had sex with me like that. I used my vibe so I could cum and when I did finally he finished.

Sex is just bad. If I say anything about it, we will have even less sex. When I was pregnant in the past he didn't even touch me for my pregnancies or a year after each.

I'm starting to think I might prefer a dead bedroom to what I have now. I'm not sure my husband will care or even notice. My pregnancy gives an excuse for a while.

Is it bad to just give up? Will my husband even care?