My wife (38 llf) and I (40 hlm) have been married for 4 years. We still love each other, I know that, but there is just no physical touch happening.

Our sex life has declined since her deployment in our first year to having sex only 4 times last year. Our general intimacy has gotten to the point where we will kiss each other good bye as we leave for work and that is about it.

I still try to initiate physical touch with longer kisses, hugs, cuddling, etc, but she doesn't initiate much of anything anymore. I have gotten to the point where I fear rejection for sex, so I rarely try to initiate that anymore.

We used to send each other sexy pics when we were apart for work and have sex at least several times a week, if not more. We would enjoy taking pictures in the act and share on reddit or other sites and send each othet links to videos or images of kinks that we wanted to try or that turned us on. This has stopped completely. I still continue to send her pics of me randomly when on travel, but just get an emoji or 'sexy' as a response.

She says she still finds me attractive, but just doesn't have a drive anymore. I have suggested she speak to her doctor about it, but she just says she is too young to be having those problems so she doesn't want to. I see some signs of depression, which started during her deployment, but she also doesn't believe that is a problem. I have depression, but currently kept in check for the most part with staying active.

When we started seeing each other and when she was deployed we had an agreement that we could see others for pleasure. I never took advantage of it and as far as she has said, she hasn't either.

Should i ask if a fwb is still on the table as a posibility?

Should I push more that she or we see a therapist?

What else can I do? Or how do a Kickstart a more meaningful conversation without sounding needy?