I wish he wouldn't come up behind me and grab my boobs. First time in 5 years, this was after I've talked to him twice about the DB. Why does anyone feel this is ok to do? Feel somehow it's sexy or a turn on or squeeze the boobs and instant wet? I've asked him not to do this and he says I'm not following through on asking about sex. Really?

On Saturday he tells me that since he has been good and doing everything right I should be in the mood....I asked what does he mean he has been good and doing everything right? He explains that he isn't messing around, now. I said Now? He then says I'm twisting shit and he's proud of himself for 'maintaining'. I said You need to go get STI tested, he says Well 'they' didn't give me anything so why bother? Does this mean he is outing himself on cheating???? He says he still doesn't get hard thinking/seeing me, so he's LL4me? Can you get it up for someone and then have good sex? Or is it bleh and one wishes they didn't do it?

I wish to be held, kissed, licked, sucked and fucked but good grief by grabbing my boobs?...No apologies for his bullshit, no talking about how we got to where we got. He has also been really nice to me and stuff and that in itself makes me question wtf. I just feel like it's to late. I wish I knew the truth. I wish I knew what to do. Personally I feel he got caught at something and I had told him around Thanksgiving that I was leaving after the first of the year as I've had enough. I wish I wasn't so broken and pathetic about all this.