My wife (52F) and I (52M) have been together since we were 17. We were madly in love for most of our marriage but we never had a great sex life. Sex was perfunctory on her part but to me it was a source of connection and intimacy. In other words, she was just there and I was there to experience connection. I loved seeing the expression on her face when she'd orgasm. She always promised she'd get more adventurous but it never happened.

Hearing for years about how husbands were guilty of being selfish lovers leaving their wives to tend to their own needs. I vowed I'd never be like that so I made it my mission to ensure she never was sexually unsatisfied. The thing is, as much as I tried to keep her satisfied, the effort was never reciprocated. Ever.

We're at a point in our long marriage where we haven't had sex (or any intimacy) for six years. I don't feel loved, I have trust issues, and I'm depressed much of the time. I find myself staying away from home as much as I can and losing myself in things that bring me joy. I'm going to counseling but she refuses and any time sex is brought up, she's quick to change the subject.

What do you do when your spouse has absolutely no interest in your orgasm or intimate pleasure or sex at all?