I’m M41 and she s F41. We’ve been married for 21 years, have been through hell and back. Our oldest passed away at 5 weeks, she cheated, then I cheated. We have been to multiple therapists but have grown incompatible over the years. I was in the military for almost 22 years, retired last year and can finally have a beard. She hates it. We don’t sleep in the same bed because I snore. Now it’s been 7 months since we have had sex. I tried to initiate the other day and got turned down. Before the 7 month drought I got turned down 4 out of 6 attempts. We have talked about it and she said that she just doesn’t crave it anymore….the irony is that about a year and a half ago, she heavily criticized her friends who had been through droughts with their spouses….and here I am in the same boat.

Its gotten to the point that I’ve been researching on how to meet someone for a discreet hookup and have posted in local R4R pages. I know it’s not right, but no sex is driving me nuts.

We have talked about all of this before and it seems like a revolving door.

What should I do? I know some will judge me, but I wanted to be honest and vulnerable in this post.