As usually follows my Friday night pattern, drink 2 beers and marinate in my jacuzzi. Nothing cathartic but just my backstory in case anyone is wondering if anyone out there is like them, and wondering what to do next.

I stepped out of my own bedroom and into another one ~3.5 years ago. I don't feel bad about it any more. Numerous counseling sessions can't fix something one party doesn't want to be fixed. There's absolutely no indication from my wife she still has any sort of intimate feelings towards me. Last saw me exAP two months ago, and that's the last time I had any form of physical contact. Before that, 2 months before with the same woman, same story. In the last nearly 5 months the only woman I've slept with is someone I'm not married to.

The old saying goes " give someone an inch they'll take a mile"...I gave my wife several inches (no pun intended) and she took several inches farther away. All it amounted to was the same amount of obscure understanding as to why I'm seen as undesirable. It only seems now she's more locked into locking me out. I stepped out 3 and a half years ago in an attempt to make me less of a bitter person. I had suspected that our constant arguing about the subject was just driving her away. I don't ask anymore (except for tonight, roundly rejected) but I feel happier. Less constrained. More free to talk like myself to someone else who appreciates it. Less tense as I spent those nights on the phone with someone who's only goal that night was to make me less tense. I continually see people in here asking what to do. Do what you think will make you happy. Take it into your own hands, since you've tried repeatedly to put in in your spouses only to end with disappointment. Your decisions are ultimately yours, but this one has so far worked out for me.