When my wife and I met, it was like an inferno was started right off the jump. Couldn't keep our hands off each other and any chance we found, we took.

That stayed the same up to when we got married, and we swore we'd never change that passion for each other.

Fast forward to year 12 of marriage and if I'm not begging for some kind of intimacy, I'm not getting so much as a fondle in passing with a slap on my hand that did it.

I've begged her to try different things to try and reignite the spark we used to have; toys, watching porn, different positions, more/prolonged foreplay, naughty messages/images sent in private, nude snuggling, naked/clothed full body massages, lingerie, showering together... The few she's been up to trying have just led to nothing, if just a "handy helper" once in a blue moon.

It's not that she doesn't love me anymore, as she's always quick to say "I love you" or show affection, it's strictly when it comes to intimacy; and specifically sexual interaction.

We have 3 kids (2 together, 1 from a previous relationship on my side), but the change occurred prior to any of her having children of our own.

I understand a woman's libido changes after childbirth, but it happened so suddenly that it kind of gave me whiplash with the whole thing.

It all started seemingly around the time we agreed to focus on trying actively to have kids of our own. After she became pregnant for the first time, there was a night where she initiated and we had sex on the couch after our older daughter fell asleep. A couple days later, she miscarried. I always believed that this traumatized her from being intimate, especially when she's been pregnant (we never fooled around at all while she was pregnant), but she's insisted that it's not an issue.

From that point on (about 9 years now), it seems like she views sex as only a means for procreation, not as anything recreational, stress relieving or otherwise.

Just recently, we were intimate randomly and she started tearing up after we were done. She said she was just overcome with how intense it was, but I'm having my doubts.

We've never had issues with either one of us finishing, in fact, I've always done everything I can to make sure she has an orgasm prior to myself (not a quick finisher, but want to make sure she gets hers prior to "The big finish").

She does have a slight curve to her uterus and vagina, which caused her discomfort when intercourse would start, but would pass fairly quickly once we got the rhythm down and would actually lead to more intense orgasms on her part from being fingered or actual intercourse.

I'm honestly at a loss, as with us going from once a week minimum to once a quarter if I'm lucky (went over a year last year with absolutely nothing) I'm drowning in feelings of inadequacy and depression from feeling like she doesn't find me attractive or is possibly being unfaithful (I know she isn't, she isn't the type to do that at all, but it's hard to keep the thought from flashing in my head).

I just want to feel wanted again, to feel like I'm attractive to the person I married. I want to feel like all this time has been a fluke and the rest of our lives together (neither one of us believes in divorce, we believe that we can work through anything together) will bring at least some type of intimacy back to our regular lives.

I'd never be unfaithful, I'd never even look at another woman. She's my world and my everything... Please help!