Hey everyone, new on Reddit and here. I have a strong sex drive and only take care of myself. I am realizing today that I haven’t had any sexual contact for almost four years now. We cuddle, give peck on the cheek or lips kisses, and SHE gets plenty of back rubs to help her relax and sleep. After pregnancy, a rough delivery, and weight gain she never regained her already previously low sex drive. We are a loving couple, but zero sex in years.

I’m in my 40s and she’s in her late 30s. I eat mostly well and exercise daily. She does nothing to take care of herself or respect my wishes to live healthy. I enable her bad choices, but still provide healthy meals to her which she grudgingly eats. Her weight and figure are a major source of her insecurity but I always try to make her feel loved and wanted sexually despite no reciprocation.

I am a dutiful husband. I take great care of the kids, clean house, cook, and everything else. Only thing she takes care of are the bills, some laundry, and parenting, but I do 99% of everything for the house and yard. I feel like a servant in my own home.

I am a caregiving in my life and career. It comes naturally for me and I love it, but I’m afraid I’ve spoiled the hell out of her and not sure what to do. She recently was away for work. I bought some sex toys to play with which seemed to put my sexual appetite into overdrive. I want sexual contact of some kind.

She brought it up that we become polyamorous and eventually MAYBE bring someone home to share. I don’t want to fuck up our nice life.

Please help! Divorce is probably never going to happen, but any advice would be much appreciated!