I keep going back and forth on looking for a new lover.

An affair partner.

Sometimes I miss her so much that all I want to do is curl up and die.

Especially when I catch glimpses of her new happy life with someone that’s not me. And at other times I want to look for a new young lover. Someone to spoil and love, and to look at me with loving doe eyes again. To help me feel like a man again. I’m not ready to change my situation yet though.

And that is the problem, isn’t it.

I want someone young and sexy who wants nothing more than to spoil me and be spoiled. But I can’t give her the time she deserves.

But it’s so lonely. Idk what to do.

Sometimes all Daddy’s want is to be someone else’s priority. When is it going to be my turn?

Do I have to wait until I’m 50? Who would even want me then?