Throwaway account for …well reasons… I’m a married man to a woman for over 20 years. 2 kids.  Before we were married sex was pretty good, and reasonably frequent. On the honeymoon I started getting shot down more frequently. We get along fine most of our fights are about sex or physical intimacy. She is vanilla to the core. I am the opposite. I have so many interests and kinks I want to explore but she isn’t really interested. 
 We will have sex maybe 2-3x month but I initiate and it is starfish sex for the most part. I get her off with oral, and she loves it, will have multiple Os. Then when it’s my turn she just lays there and doesn’t do much with her hands even unless I tell her to.  If I last a little longer, it’s almost like she gets bored. If I don’t try to initiate and have sex with her she gets offended and says don’t you want me anymore? Am I not attractive to you?
 She doesn’t get turned on by physical looks, I’m pretty fit and muscular, I work out 5-6 days a week, I think I’m a fairly attractive guy.  I need someone that sees me and wants me, wants to touch me, kiss me. 
 She’s really beautiful, smart, hard working, but the least physically affectionate, sexual person I know. Even her kissing has changed. We have been in counseling several times over the years, and are again right now. Idk that it’s helping or not to be honest. I try to help around the house and it never really does much it seems.

I really don’t know what I’m looking for by posting. Just trying to figure it the fuck out. Been following a while.