Married 19 years, together 29 and in our late 40s. Relationship issues for the past five or six years of feeling undesired, neglected and ignored. In couples therapy again. I nearly left three months ago. No sex at all in a year and he’s asked me on a date once in three months probably bc he’s not sure how I’ll respond. Told him a week ago sometimes I want him to win me back, romance me, make a great date night But honestly, at this point, I dont desire to be physically intimate with him. High libido and I even get off at work some days I can’t think I’m so horny. He’s always been overweight but is now bigger than ever and I know that bothers him but now, it bothers me. A lot. I look at him and since there’s no flirting, no desire for ME anymore that he expresses and he’s terribly out of shape, it just turning me off.

How do you tell someone you love, respect, admire, who is your bf and partner for longer in your life than you’ve been without him, that you simply don’t want to get naked with him? We are former lifestyle and have grown together in that and shared so much but the relationship issues and resentment on both sides has changed that for me. No infidelity btw. There’s no way to say it and not crush him. I feel awful but it’s the truth.