Hi,

Just sharing my experience.

I've been in the markets since 2014. I've traded pink otc, stocks, momentum, options, you name it. Made some money and have some back. But nothing life changing, as my equity had always been under 25k so pdt applied.

Last year in Feb I came across futures, and I delved in. It made sense. I trade one index, everyday, and that's it. I use prop firms.

So. This year started off with a bang. got a 300k passed from a firm. Started off first week good. In just 13 days I made a good amount of 53k. I was ecstatic. However, this past Friday. Idk what it was that got to me. But I just got the urge to trade full amount. Even though I had already churned out 900 in the morning. I didn't need to make anymore money. I was satisfied.

I had a argument with my wife the day before, had stress from my day job, idk what it was. I've never done anything like that before, but I just went all in. My goal wasn't even to make crazy money, I just wanted to see what happen and get out with either a 3k loss or profit, but I would be indifferent.

Howeverrrrr, it went complete opposite and I lost everything. At one point I was down 10k and thinking what did I do. I literally sat there watch the whole account sink, 10k, 15k, 30k and then just kaput. I got cleared out and got msg admin orders only.

I've been feeling a tad bit better today but mentally I'm drained. I was so good entire month of Jan. Would've been my highest month ever at 50k profits to end the month. I even had some days with drawdown but I was so careful I really traded well taking losses and managing my wins. I just can't understand what was I thinking and now I feel like complete shit. I told my wife and she just looked at me. Although she told me yesterday, take it as a lesson, but don't get down. If you can do it once you can do it again. At least you know you have this down now.

But I just can't seem to get over it. To make it worse it was a day before my bday too, a bday I'll remember forever.

This 1st Feb a couple days from now I would've requested a payout. But now I'm back to square one.