This post has been de-listed
It is no longer included in search results and normal feeds (front page, hot posts, subreddit posts, etc). It remains visible only via the author's post history.
A woman will communicate vast wealths of information and truths to a man if heâs only willing to accept her behavior, not exclusively her words, as the benchmark. He must also understand that the truth she betrays in her behavior is often not what he wants to accept.
We get frustrated because women communicate differently than we do. Women communicate covertly, men communicate overtly. Men convey information, women convey feeling. Men prioritize content and information, women prioritize context and feeling when they communicate. One of the great obfuscations fostered by feminization in the last quarter-century is this expectation that women are every bit as rational and inclined to analytical problem solving as men. Itâs the result of an equalist mentality that misguides men into believing that women communicate no differently than men. Thatâs not to discount women learning to be problem solvers in their own right, but it flies in the face how women set about a specifically feminine form of communication. Scientific study after study illustrating the natural capacity women have for exceptionally complex forms of communication (to the point of proving their neural pathways are wired differently) are proudly waved in by a feminized media as proof of womenâs innate merits. Yet as men, weâre expected to accept that she âmeans what she says, and she says what she means.â
More than a few women like to wear this as a badge of some kind of superiority, however it doesnât necessarily mean that what they communicate is more important, or how they communicate it is more efficient, just that they have a greater capacity to understand nuances of communication better than do men. One of the easiest illustrations of this generational gender switch is to observe the communication methods of the âstrongâ women the media portray in popular fiction today. How do we know sheâs a strong woman? The first cue is she communicates in an overt, information centered, masculine manner.
You donât need to be psychic to understand womenâs covert communication, you need to be observant. This often requires a patience that most men simply donât have, so they write women off as duplicitous, fickle or conniving if the name fits. Even to the Men that are observant enough, and take the needed mental notes to really see it going on around them, it seems very inefficient and irrational. And why wouldnât it? Weâre Men. Our communications are (generally) information based, deductive and rational, thatâs Menâs overt communication. Blunt, to the point, solve the problem and move on to the next. Feminine communication seems insane, it is a highly dysfunctional form of communicationâŚ.,to be more specific, itâs a childish form of communication. This is what children do! They say one thing and do another. they throw temper tantrums. They react emotionally to everything. Yes, they do. And more often than not, they get what theyâre really afterâââattention. Women are crazy, but itâs a calculated crazy.
Covert communication frustrates us every bit as much as overt communication frustrates women. Our language has no art to it for them, thatâs why we seem dumb or simple at best to women. We filter for information to work from, not the subtle details that make communication enjoyable for women. This is the same reason we think of feminine communication as being obfuscating, confusing, even random. The difference is that our confusion and frustration is put to their ultimate use. So long as women remain unknowable, random, irrational creatures that men canât hope to understand (but can always excuse), they can operate unhindered towards their goals. âSilly boy, youâll never understand women, just give upâ is exactly the M.O. Once you accept this, sheâs earned a lifetime of get-out-of-jail-free cards. The myth of the âFeminine Mystiqueâ and a womanâs prerogative (to change her mind) is entirely dependent upon this covert communication.
Now as Men weâll say, âEvil, immoral, manipulative woman! Shape up and do the right thing, saying one thing then doing another makes you a hypocrite!â and of course this is our rational nature overtly making itself heard and exposing a womanâs covert communication. An appeal to morality, thatâll get her, but,..it doesnât.
This is because women instinctively know that their sexuality is their first, best agency, and covert communication is the best method to utilize it. Appeals to morality only work in her favor, because all she need do is agree with a Manâs overt assessment of her and suddenly he thinks heâs âgetting through to herâ. As Men, we have become so conditioned by the Feminine Mystique to expect a woman to be duplicitous with us that when she suddenly leans into masculine communication forms and resorts to our own, overt communication method and agrees with us, it seems sheâs had an epiphany, or a moment of clarity. âWow, this oneâs really special, âhigh qualityâ, and seems to get it.â That is, so long as it suits her conditions to do so. When it doesnât, the Feminine Mystique is there to explain it all away.
Have you ever been in a social setting, maybe a party or something, with a girlfriend or even a woman you may be dating and seemingly out of the blue she says to you privately, âooh, did you see the dirty look that bitch just gave me?!â You were right there in her physical presence, saw the girl she was talking about, yet didnât register a thing. Womenâs natural preference for covert communication is recognizable by as early as five years old. They prefer to fight in the psychological, whereas boys fight in the physical.
Within their own peer group, little girls fight for dominance with the threat of ostracization from the group. âI wont be your friend anymore if,..â is just as much a threat to a girl as âIâm gonna punch you in the face if,..â is to a boy. This dynamic becomes much more complex as girls enter puberty, adolescence and adulthood, yet they still use the same psychological mode of combat as adults. Their covert way of communicating this using innuendo, body language, appearance, sub-communications, gestures, etc. conveys far more information than our overt, all on the table, way of communicating does. It may seem more efficient to us as Men, but our method doesnât satisfy the same purpose.
Women enjoy the communication more than the information being transferred. Itâs not a problem to be solved, itâs the communication thatâs primary. When a chump supplies her with everything all at once we think, yeah, the mystery is gone, heâs not a challenge anymore, why would she be interested? This is true, but the reason that intrigue is gone is because thereâs no more potential for stimulating that need for communication or her imagination. Too many men buy into the lie that âopen communicationâ is the key to a good relationship and do an âinformation dumpâ believing their wives or girlfriends will appreciate it. In doing so a man denies his woman the satisfaction of communicating in teasing out the information.
Nothing is more self-satisfying for a woman than for her to believe sheâs figured a man out by using her mythical âfeminine intuitionâ. This intuition is really just a name given to her preferred form of communication.
Lastly, I should add that women are not above using overt communication when it serves their purposes. When a woman comes out and says something in such a fashion so as to leave no margin for misinterpretation, you can bet sheâs been pushed to that point out of either fear or sheer exasperation when her covert methods wont work.
âCanât we just be friends?â is a covert rejection, âGet away from me you creep!!â is an overt rejection. When a woman opts for the overt, rest assured, sheâs out of covert ideas and knows she must use menâs form of communication. This is an easy example of this, but when a woman cries on you, screams at you, or issues an ultimatum to you she is self-acknowledging that she is powerless to the point of having to come over to your way of communicating.
Likewise, men can and do master the art of covert communications as well. Great politicians, military generals, businessmen, salesmen to be sure, and of course master pickup artists all use covert communications to achieve their goals. Itâs incorrect to think of covert communication as inherently dishonest or amoral, or even in a moral context. Itâs a means to an end, just as overt communication is a means to an end, and that end whether decided by men or women is whatâs ethical or unethical. The medium is the message
Subreddit
Post Details
- Posted
- 11 months ago
- Reddit URL
- View post on reddit.com
- External URL
- reddit.com/r/DatingInInd...