Even though you weren't ever really there, much less so emotionally, I feel like I miss a connection I never had. And even the semblance of a vague bond we had when we were living together is gone now. I'm 26 dad, I'm going to stand up to you when you treat me worse than dirt.

I don't need you to beg me if you can please come over, but you can ask if I have time/want to hang out, no? Instead, after months of strained contact you announce you're coming over, and then get pissed at me if I tell you I don't like that way (or lack) of communication. I won't stand for you telling me what to do and announcing how shit's gonna go. I want to be treated as an equal. I'm not being weird. I'm not disrespectful. I'm not rude. I'm an adult. But you've literally told me verbatim that you will always see me as a child, and refuse to want to learn or even take anything from a younger generation. And that you're just the way you are, and aren't gonna change that because I ''demand so''.

Well dad, I'm in therapy now and I'm learning to have boundaries, and actually have a bar for communication. The only connection you want, is if I just listen to you and do as I'm told. I can't bring up the past, I can't tell you my needs, I can't even tell you what I do in life because you'll critisize it. You've questioned why you don't hear from me, and when I say I don't feel comfortable to talk about it, you get mad. Then I'll tell you, this type of response is exactly why I don't talk to you, and you exclaim ''I can't do anything right can I''. Yes, you can. You can ask me how the fuck you can make things more comfortable for me, instead of always being defensive.

I told you I won't be coming over for Christmas because the way you talk and the things you talk about, and the way your new girlfriend and her family are, make me extremely uncomfortable. Instead of trying to understand your own daughter and making my childhood home a better space for me, you go off at me and call me ridiculous. Why? Why is your ego more sacred to you then your own child? I offered to bring you to therapy with me so we can discuss our communication styles and overall needs with an unbiased party who will help us connect. You tell me that you don't ''believe in those people'', they think they know everything and they just drive people apart. You'd rather have no contact with me, then trust my judgement on this for once in my life.

Well, you made me insecure enough growing up, but I'm starting to believe in my own judgement and my own rights now. I'm not being ridiculous, I'm not overreacting, and I'm not a CHILD. I am a grown woman with a backbone and that makes you insecure.

I hope, deep down, it makes you a little proud too. I know you weren't allowed to have one with your own dad. It's just a shame you're perpetuating the cycle.