Hey Dad. My life has been stressful to say the least. A close friend died this past week and she was a jewel. She helped me at times of despair. This is purely selfishness and due to her having three young children. Im a mess and it’s been difficult for me to go through this sober. Im doing my best but I feel my best isn’t okay. I literally have no sense of being a man at times. I know who I am but I’m no where I need to be for most. I lost another person and this hurts worse than any junkie friend I lost this year.

I don’t have anyone to talk with and therapy hasn’t helped with this feeling. It sucks. I can’t change anything even though I’m trying so hard. I know I have to just let go but I’ve survived my entire life by not letting go of control.

Thanks for letting me vent.