Today has been hell emotionally for me.

My dad died when I was 9. Our favorite movie in the world was ghostbusters. I used to watch it with him and run around playing with the old 80s toys he got me. It was my favorite thing.

After he died I still loved the movie. I built stuff from the movie, proton packs, traps, everything.

Today a new trailer for the new movie came out. I literally started to cry watching it.

I just can’t stop picturing us getting to go to the movies together, watching it and having fun.

For a minute I even got excited. For a split second some like inner child part of me thought about getting to watch a movie with my dad.

Then that just spiraled me into thinking of everything else I get to miss out on.

My friends all the time are watching movies with their dads. Hell, it’s a weekend thing for one of my friends.

I wish he could be here and watch it with me. That’s all I want. But no matter how hard I want it, I’ll never get it.