Today's been such a horrible day. It was going so good until yesterday, my two year old dog had to pre strokes in less than 24 hours, I took him to the vet and I came to the decision to put him to sleep. The vet suggested that to keep him alive longer I'd have to restrict his activities and such, but he's just a young dog. He loves to play, chase his sisters and keeping him closed in a room would be like dying while alive.

On top of all of that, a friend who I met like a month ago has been showing less and less interest in talking to me. She said I meant a lot to her and that she always thought of me, but I can feel her moving on.

Good for her, I'm glad she's getting her life back together, but once again I feel like a disposable person. Someone who's always there for everyone, but no one is ever there for me. I am surrounded by people everyday but at the end of the day I feel alone. I've always felt that way.

My head hurts, my heart hurts and I don't know what to do anymore.