Hey Dad,

As if this last year wasn’t hard enough losing you, my life has completely flipped upside down on me again recently. There have been many times I go to reach for my phone to call or text you, or have the urge to drop by your house to pop in and talk. But then it hits me that you’re no longer here, that my best friend is no longer around to give me wise and logical pep talks and advice and support. It hurts so much.

I’m getting a divorce. I know you loved him. You two got along so well, and the moments you two bonded over painting your classic car or having a beer together and chatting are moments I know him and I will always treasure. But I realize I wasn’t truly happy. I realize I may have just loved the idea of being married, having a partner for life, and I didn’t recognize how he wasn’t meant to be that partner. I still love him, I’ll still be friends with him, it’s just I want to be happy and fulfilled in a marriage. I also want to be myself, truly, without adjusting who I am for another person. I know you’d understand that the most out of anyone.

But now I started dating someone new. It sort of just happened, I wasn’t looking, but something in the universe lined up for the two of us and we find ourselves in this exciting beautiful romance. We’ve been friends for 7 months, and I think I’ve always had a crush on him, but at some point my feelings started evolving and I realized what was happening. He feels the same and now we find ourselves here. He has been everything I have been looking for. We get each other so well, we feel like we have known each other for years. He treats me like a goddess, he genuinely cares about me, makes me laugh, makes me feel special, encourages me to be myself and be the best version of myself... I could go on. The one thing that really sticks out to me is that I am completely myself around him. I feel so comfortable to just be me. That is so refreshing as I’ve never been that way, and I know you’d agree that it’s about time I finally feel comfortable in my own skin.

Although things feel right with how they are going in my life, I can’t help but feel a little lost still. Maybe I just need your reassurance, and love and support. Losing you was so hard, and there have been many times where I could’ve used your guidance and support navigating your passing... but this is the first moment since then that I’ve experienced where I am really feeling the complete absence of you. I just wish you were here.

I love you, Dad.

Love, M