I posted the other day about my partner and I not knowing wether we‘d move or not. we made the decision to do it.

I thought I feel better once I knew. truth be told, I feel worse. I‘m so damn sad. I love this apartment and while the other one is awesome and bigger and probably a lot better than this one I‘m wonderinf wether this is the right decision.

a week or so ago I made a list of all the pros and cons of each apartment. yesterday my partner and I talked it through. we pictured how we‘d furnish the other apartment. it did feel good. but it doesn‘t make having to leave any better.

this one is the first place that truly feels like home after my parents gave up our family‘s summer home.

we do have to leave sooner or later since our landlady has a daughter who‘s going to move into this apartment once she‘s old enough. that‘ll be in 5-ish years. I wonder wether it‘d be easier if I had more time. if we move right now, it‘ll be in a little over a week.

I wonder if moving now is the right decision. it sure doesn‘t feel like it right now. how will it feel once we‘ve made a home out of the other apartment? will I be glad we‘ve made this decision? I‘m so afraid that I‘ll regret it. I definitely will at first, but what about in 3 months, or 6, or in a year? I wish I knew.

all I know now is that I don‘t want to leave this place. I can still change my mind until we‘ve signed the new lease. my partner promised he won‘t be mad. he‘s been so understanding of how I feel.

what do I do?