Hi there! I'm Ferret, and I like to write smut! You do, too? Great! Let's have some fun.

I have always approached DPP from the perspective of literature, and my writing reflects this; I have made several share posts that showcase my personal preference for style, pace and plot, but in case you don't want to read 100 pages of my droll prose, I'll offer a concise summation: I tend to write either first person present tense, or third person past tense. These are the two styles that make innate sense to me, and thus what I prefer.

Character-wise, I'll play anything so long as it's interesting. Guy, girl, futa, a-gendered superbeing-- it's all good. I'll play opposite practically anything, too, so long as you make it interesting. Nationality, skin color, sexuality, gender; I have neither a preference, nor a proclivity. I play whatever I can get my hands on that tickles my fancy. And for the record, no, I am not going to send you a picture of myself 'for reference', I'm not going to skype with you, I'm not on kik or chatzy or discord, and asking me is just a waste of time. Spare us both the trouble.

In terms of plot, I tend to favor science-fiction narratives, particularly cyberpunk, but I also enjoy good medieval fantasy (high or low), contemporary stuff, post-apocalypse and post-post-apocalypse. In other words, so long as the premise is good, I am down to at least try it. My primary interest is in novelty, with a heavy emphasis on shared world building and plot progression. Without a cohesive world and a sensible, forward-moving plot, the sex loses its luster for me.

Speaking of sex, a kink list seems mandatory for this kind of profile post. As such, a bit on my interests. First off, I am a bisexual switch, and thus open to almost anything. This also means that my interests tend to shift pretty heavily from week to week, and filling out five different kink lists has so far produced five different results. However, in the spirit of me writing this now, below are a few things I generally always enjoy, and a handful that I never will. Most importantly, however, is context. At this point, I've written enough plays that I don't care to count them, some long, some short, and I've pretty much tried it all. As such, sex easily becomes dull (only so many ways you can describe pounding a butthole with a ten inch cock) unless the context is right. This is where all that plot and characterization comes in. Good characters can make dull sex fun to write. Conversely, lack of an interesting context can kill even the sexiest of moods.

YES OH GOD PLEASE YES MORE MORE HARDER YESSS~!!

• Oral - particularly long, succulent blowjobs, 69ing and facesitting
• Anal - including pegging, prostate stimulation, double penetration, rimming.. I love ass, k?
• Bondage - ropes are fun. Cuffs are, too.
• Spanking - again with the ass
• Gender play - whether sissification or x-change, futa, cross-dressing, trans* or futuristic gender-hybrids. Lay it on me.
• Shortstacks - whether goblins, halflings or simply smol elves, if they are short and stacked, they are delicious.
• Guy on guy - My white whale. Love it, can't get enough of it.
• Big cocks - not obscenely huge, but hey, this is smut; why limit ourselves?
• Romance - seems a little out of place on this list, but most of my plots, no matter how outrageous, are usually driven by romance. In the end, I'm just a sucker for the sweet stuff.
• Interracial sex - not raceplay, mind you, but the aesthetic of dark and light skin is just inherently pleasing to me.
• Enthusiasm - if you're having fun, chances are I'm having fun. That's the point, right? Having fun together? Characters with chemistry will be enthusiastic about fucking. That's the good stuff right there.
• Pet play - collars, leashes, sweet praise for being a good girl-- yes, please.

PLEASE DON'T

• Blood - also gore, vore, snuff
• Scat - and watersports
• Humiliation/degradation - it is a very, very fine line for me between what is fun and what isn't when it comes to dirty talk, and unless we know each other well enough that I know you won't accidentally overstep my limits, best just leave humiliation well away from me.
• DD/lg - the 'daddy dom, little girl' kink is not for me. I don't mind power play, but 'littles' are not my thing.
• Bad dom(me)s - being a dom means reading your partner and knowing how to push their boundaries while making sure they are having fun. It does not mean being a self-centered meathead who throws around their partner like a ragdoll. Stop it.
• Pillow princesses - goes for guys too, although they are less frequent. If we are fucking, don't expect me to do all the heavy lifting. Participate, or piss off.
• Rape - Reluctant consent that spirals into enjoyment can work, but outright rape is not for me. Nor is predatory coercion, just in case you were looking for a loophole.
• Doctors - or dentists; anything to do with pain or illness. I've seen enough doctors that I cannot fetishize them.

Do you have a kink that does not occur on either list? Chances are most likely that I'm up for it, so don't be afraid to suggest it. I've done many things not on my list of preferences; futa werewolves, tentacle monsters, clone orgy gangbangs, robot threesomes, centaur anal fisting-- in other words, weird shit. And I love it! This is not an invitation to just send me your weirdest bullshit, mind, but a way to showcase that I am open to most things, even if they aren't on my list.

WHEN DOES THE FERRET REPLY

I try to follow a few, simple rules to finding partners, and knowing them might help you understand why I might have opted to not reply to your message-- or why I might have forgotten.

• First, I don't play with people on obvious throwaway accounts. This is due to the fact that many throwaway accounts are decidedly expendable, and most of the ghosting I experience stem from this type of account. I realize that every account on Reddit is essentially expendable, but throwaways are, as the name implies, liable to be thrown away, and our play with it. I don't have the patience for that.

• Second, I am hesitant to reply to people whose accounts are still fresh. This is a much more loosely defined 'rule', but boils down to the same unwillingness to be left high and dry, or alternatively, for someone I have rejected to try and trick me into a conversation. If that sounds paranoid, let me assure you that it has happened. I have to take my precautions accordingly.

• Third, I much prefer to play with someone who has a portfolio of prompts or stories in their posting history for me to read through. For one, it ensures that you are less likely to delete your account, and for another, it gives me a sense of who you are, and whether I think our writing is compatible. Please note that I tend to browse horizontally rather than vertically; I'd rather read slices of ten different stories than one piece all the way through. As such, simply sending me a piece of your prose for reference might not necessarily net you a gain-- it might, but I won't guarantee it.

And finally, even if you fulfill all of these criteria, I might simply forget to reply to you, or your message might not elicit any immediate response in me. Ultimately, I have to prioritize my time. Nothing personal.

Anything else? Just ask. Despite what the title might say, I'm really not that bad. An egomaniacal glutton for praise? Yes. But not that bad. And be sure to check my subreddit for more examples of my writing; there are prompts and stories there for your perusal and enjoyment.