Hey perverts.

Longtime listener, first time caller. Figured I'd introduce myself before posting in the main sub.

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About Me:

Right up front – I'm a thin, conventionally attractive married woman in her early 30s. Yes, he knows; yes, he approves. I have a lot of experience in and out of bed. I've got a lot going for me in life. I have plenty to talk about, plenty to write about, but DPP is the icing I've chosen for my cake, nothing more. Real life comes first, and it often comes fast, but I never fail to let my partners know when I'll be away (and for how long).

I'm over-educated, over-caffeinated, and on the spectrum, so odds are I'm a brighter, better-organized, more talented writer than you. And that's totally OK. Would I love to find a roleplaying or chatting partner who can challenge me, push my buttons, and bring the best out of me? Sure. Would I settle for someone who puts in the effort, stays engaged, and doesn't make the simple/stupid mistakes in their writing that break my immersion and drain my interest? Hell yeah.

I'm just as happy to make a casual sexting/chatting buddy as I am to find my perfect role-playing partner. I might even prefer the former to the latter, given how difficult it is to sustain an RP.

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How I Write:

I write on Discord ONLY. No exceptions. If I'm interested in your post (or you're interested in one of mine), we'll chat via Reddit chat for a little while so I can see how we fit together. I'll give you my Discord ID once I'm convinced that there's enough between us to get my hands dirty with you.

I write in complete, grammatically correct sentences. In full, flowing paragraphs (3 per reply). I always push the action. I don't mind having my character's minor actions and dialogue puppeteered and would really prefer if you didn't either.

I always edit my writing and expect you to as well. My writing is concise and stylized. Read between the lines and meet me at least halfway. Weigh every word. Make your prose as lean as my body.

If you submit first drafts, don't put in the effort to make your writing as good as it can be, and make simple errors in formatting (periods, quotation marks, capitalization) or style (e.g. mixing up your/you're, there/their/they're, writing in clichés), then you won't hear back from me.

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What I Write:

I'll write RPs of any length – short-term (one session), medium-term (2–4 sessions), long-term (5 sessions) – and am more than happy to accrue chatting buddies who respect my boundaries (no, I'm not interested in sending you nudes).

RP-wise, I like to write:

• Slice of life relationships set in the usual twenty-first-century hellscape. Boyfriend/girlfriend energy? Hot. Friends-with-benefits finding their groove? Double hot. A pair of stressed-out nobodies who are struggling to pay rent and rise above the grind and end up cheating on their SOs with one another? Triple hot.
• Character development / imperfect characters. We're all flawed, fallible, vulnerable people – write what you know.
• Historical settings, including (but not limited to) the world wars, nineteenth-century Europe, the Age of Discovery, and the classical Mediterranean world.
• Sci-fi and fantasy narratives that require a lot of planning, world-building, and effort to sustain. Favourite themes include Lost in Space, zombie apocalypses, eco-pocalypses, and future utopias/dystopias where lifelike androids are a defining feature of human society.
• Lifestyle porn – i.e., characters who have it all. Am I an OC celebrity? Are you an OC pro athlete? Am I an heiress? Are you a tycoon? Money makes me so, so wet. [Enter CREAM-on-your-dick pun here.]
• Tall, slim, busty, under-appreciated characters (mine) opposite tall, lean, strong, confident-but-not-arrogant, compassionate-but-not-a-pussy characters (yours).
• Scenes involving multiple female characters.
• Scenes with high stakes – isolation, desperation, survival.
• Interracial pairings (mostly black guy X white girl, but open to something a little more fantastical and genre-specific).
• Rise to prominence narratives (getting famous!...) and fall from grace narratives (...and having my sex tape leaked!).

I'm also totally willing to write a male main for the right woman.

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My Kinks:

• Vigorous sex. You know: quick, dirty, passionate, take-what-you-need, better-than-a-half-hour-of-cardio sex.
• Flexible and/or "experimental" sex positions.
• Loud sex. Including but not limited to hold-the-moan, light voyeurism (being heard or walked in on), and just generally expressive and vocal sex. Doesn't have to be dirty talk, doesn't have to just be "ah!" and "oh," but I can't emphasize this enough: nothing's creepier than a man who's quiet, or silent, during sex. Make some noise, people!
• Rough sex. Dirty talk, name-calling, manhandling, spanking, choking, face-slapping. Treat me like a breakable, replaceable fuck doll.
• Hate-fucking. You don't like me, or vice versa, or both – and it's pretty clear once we get down to it. You'd never treat someone you love this way.
• Cumplay. I like it where it should go (on my face, on my breasts, on my tummy), where it shouldn't go (in my hair, in my eyes, on my clothes), and I like playing characters who don't like it at all.
• Big dicks. Sure, I'll worship it, so long as it's worthy.
• Realism. Sex shouldn't last two hours, shouldn't involve a merry-go-round of positions, shouldn't get ever more extreme (within the same session). Real is sexy. Real is fun.
• Cheating. We're adults, so let's commit adultery.
• Giving enthusiastic blowjobs. 'nuff said.
• Inebriated sex. Drugs of choice are alcohol, weed, and coke.
• Consensual non-consent. No means yes, but only if we've agreed upon it beforehand.

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My Ideal Chatting or RPing Partner...

• ...has a keen eye for grammar, punctuation, and generally well-constructed prose. If you're not sending me final draft-type messages and not proud of what you send, my immersion (and interest) are gonna circle the drain. You don't need to be Shakespeare, but you should at least aim to impress.
• ...reveres concise, impactful writing and is repulsed by sloppy and clichéd writing.
• ...has a firm sense of how and what is too much in a sentence, a description, a scene. Don't beat that horse to death; feed it, groom it, and give it room to run free.
• ...possesses a unique, confident voice. Gives me something real. Is someone with something to express.
• ...has the wherewithal to build off of what I put down in each message instead of merely responding to my characters' actions, feelings, and my descriptions of the scene at hand.

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What I Avoid in a Partner (and in an RP):

• Careless writing. This includes unedited work, poor/inconsistent grammar/punctuation, and any mistakes, clichés, or oversights that make me lose immersion. Take me seriously. Respect my time.
• Lack of style, investment, or metacognition.
• Replies that are less than 2 paragraphs long.
• Not writing on Discord.
• R*pe, "breeding," impregnation, anal, and the other usual limits (toilet stuff, underage stuff, animal stuff, violence).
• One-dimensional ideas and characters.

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You Should Message Me If:

You find me interesting or think I'd find you interesting!

If you decide to message me, please start your message with the word "coconut" so I know that you've read my profile.