I decided to rewrite an old prompt of mine and give it a much snappier title.

Here's the old version, though I haven't reposted it in almost two years: https://www.reddit.com/r/dirtypenpals/comments/dibdef/m4f_part_time_crook_fulltime_abjurer_kidnaps_the/

Roguish Abjurer Drinks Heavily, Kidnaps Princess, Hijinks Ensue

As beds went, a cold stone floor was a remarkably poor one, especially when your head was beating with a staccato drumbeat reminiscent of a military band, the aftermath of a late night spent with far too much alcohol. I blinked my eyes open - a decision that promptly proved immediately regrettable, given the morning sunlight streaming through the narrow window of the circular chamber I was lying on the floor of. With a reluctant groan, I hauled myself up and peered around the room, trying to work out where I was - and why. Where came pretty quickly, thanks to the sparse furniture and the cobwebs amongst the rafters - it was the old tower of the Mage's Academy where I was an instructor, the one we told the students was haunted, purely so we could have at least one quiet spot to ourselves.

Why came after - once I laid eyes upon the regal beauty lying in naught but a nightgown, her hands bound and her mouth concealed behind a gag, upon the bed. It took me a few seconds before I worked out who she was, and where I'd seen her before. And then my memories of the past evening promptly rushed back, hitting me like a tsunami wave of bad choices.

See, I'd been out drinking with some old friends - the sort of miscreant friends that a respectable educator should definitely not have, of course, but then the life of misdeeds before I'd taken this position was not soon forgotten - and talk of old misadventures, combined with copious amounts of alcohol, had clearly lead to me undertaking that most famed of challenges - to steal a prize from beneath the king's very nose. And in my drunken state, I'd clearly decided that stealing the Princess rather than a simple signet ring had been a marvellous idea.

Well, my head was definitely ending up on a pike.

Ladies of DPP, I'd love to hear your ideas as to where we might take this distressing situation for our poor drunken arcanist and his new bound "friend" - will she use this as a chance to blackmail him into helping her escape a life within a gilded cage? Will she just take advantage of him to get herself a loyal retainer? Something else entirely?