***Alla an Vanda***

Those are the three words carved into the great stone cliffs as you enter Pikesmund. It’s the first thing many adventurers see when they come to this new land, and it usually brings up a lot of questions.

Who carved these words? What do they mean? How old are they?

I know, personally, I was curious if they practiced at all before carving five meter high lettering into a sheer cliff face but I’m an outlier. But I’m getting a bit ahead of myself.

Roughly ten years ago an island, uncreatively named Vanda, appeared off the eastern coast of our continent. If this wasn’t enough to spark people’s interest, the island doesn’t seem to obey any of the natural laws we’ve come to expect if not rely on. Namely, regardless of how deep you march inland, you never reach the other end, biomes, triomes, and whatever the hell four-omes is exist side by side with zero regard for reason, and ancient civilizations seem to get discovered every fortnight or so with some regularity.

This certainly appeals to the scientifically minded, but if you are like me and never met an -ology you liked there was another reason to pack your bags and head east.

*Gold*. Fuckin’ **tons** of it. Enough precious gems, enchanted swords, and weird talking rings to give a dwarf an aneurysm.

Though this hoard is often guarded by your usual assortment of bloodthirsty creatures, manic cults, and the occasional drunk wizard. That’s why many adventurers choose to join a guild and split their earnings among their comrades in arms, because having some of the loot is better than having all of it right next to your corpse.

My guild, The Lily and Viper, is one such establishment. We weren’t the first on the island, but our Guild Matron was the first to make a momentous change in the way guilds have traditionally worked with one word: Integration.

Now I’m saying everyone in the world is a bloodthirsty racist, but at one point or another everyone has fought with everyone and really who doesn’t love a good, ol’ fashion grudge? Whether it’s Orcs and Elves, Trolls and Halflings, or anyone and the Dwarves we are all united by our mutual disdain for everyone else. So when the Matron of the Lily and Viper Guild opened her doors to anyone, it shook things up.

That’s when I laid eyes on you.

You were one of the fresh faced recruits who joined up, and honestly… it floored me. The cute little face, the mess of hair, and the curves… *Oh Empty Night,* the **curves** on you. It took all my fucking will power to not have my jaw hit the floor. I think the Matron noticed, and because she is as cruel as she is kind, I was sent to body guard you on your first mission out. It’s a standard *clear out the wolves that are harassing the local livestock so we all don’t starve* mission.

And now here we are, sitting around a fire in a field at the edge of a woods, waiting for nightfall. I don’t really know what to say to you. I mean, I know we speak the same language but still…

“How are you?”

Fuck. Real smooth Jackass. Real Fuckin’ Smooth.

—

Apologies if that was a bit much, I just find this sort of shit fun.

Hi! I go by Nick and I gosh darn it I love fantasy. Welcome to a fantastical world at the very first interspecies guild! Goblins, Elves, Halfings, and Orcs can all gather together in search of wealth, fame, fortune and fuc-

Ahem.

Fun.

Character Questions: These are some questions that I’d love to hear your answer to. What is your character like? What drew her to this new continent?

Your Character: I am largely open to anything! The only stipulation is that your character is short, stacked, and not a human. If you can answer the question, ***Is you thicc?*** Then we are good to go. If you have a particular character you want to play we can hammer out the details. I am fine with most fantasy races though I am particular on my own character’s features. I love it when people have a particular character concept at the start, so please feel free to send me your ideas.

NOTE: I have a soft spot for Goblins. Well, not exactly soft but… um... Well, what can I say? I love their weird, chaotic sexual energy. It’s like fucking a girl from Jersey, but you know, more humane.

My Character: Nicolas “Nick” Stone, 32-40 years old, 6'3" and built wide like a lumberjack (Little bit of weight, but enough muscle underneath to not be considered fat). Not entirely human, though it’s not a subject he brings up at dinner parties. Like all men who grew up very tall very fast, he wouldn’t hurt a fly\*. Dark brown hair with a trimmed beard to match and a series of scars from a lifetime of adventuring. Tattooed to all hell, and trying to quit smoking. Today he is wearing a standard mostly clean undershirt, leather armor, light fur cloak, and leather boots that form the look informally dubbed around the guild as the “Veteran Special”.

\*Flies are innocent, mindless creatures who have never wronged him. Those that do wrong him he would crush like an overripe cantaloupe.

Primary Kinks (that I can think of that apply to this): Romance, Hold the Moan, Size Difference, Oral, Anal, Manhandling, Large Breasts, Body Worship, Rough Sex, Dirty Talk. I have a full kink list on my DPP profile, so take a look at that.

Limits: Scat, Sexual Torture, Vomit, Piss, Vomit, Body Odor.

Preferred Method of Communication: In general I very much prefer to use Discord over Reddit, but for this one if you want to do Reddit Chat/Messages that would be fine. Concerning post length, I would do at least a paragraph minimum and I would like the same in my partner. If we want this to be detailed, I would love that and I will match your length. I am not a stickler for it and it is a-okay if the post lengths are dynamic but if you only reply with one or two sentences I don’t think this will work for us.

Frequency of Response: Listen, we are both adults here. We both are busy people and I don’t expect this to be your only focus in life. If we both get two really good posts every few hours or at least one really detailed post a day, that is fine by me. This is supposed to be fun, and we should both treat it as such.

Conclusion: If this sounds good to you, send me a message and we can talk about it! If this doesn’t sound like your jam but you like my style, take a look at my DPP profile. I pride myself on trying to combine humor and eroticism like a sexy Terry Pratchett, so... just Terry Pratchett. I have a more detailed list of Kinks and Limits on my profile, so if there is something we both enjoy, bring it up and we can totally make something work. If you’d like to incorporate a particular kink, I am all ears.

Feel free to shoot me a message if you have a prompt you want to share and I promise I will take a look.

Take care, and I hope to hear from you soon!

​

[[END]]

So I don't think I like the title, so if anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear it.

If there is any other glaring issues, I'd also love to hear it but I am mainly looking for help workshopping my title.