This trip wasn't the greatest. But it was my fault. I used the substance irresponsibly and so this is what I deserved. To this day little things take me back to the trip and I get "flashbacks".

It was my first time smoking dmt. I used a dab rig and smoked the ever so tiniest amount to get a feel for it. The feeling was so fucking strong unlike any other psychedelic I've done. So I told my gf (who was helping me and my friend smoke it) to get another hit for me. It still looked tiny, I thought I'd be fine. Boy was I wrong.

As soon as I exhaled my vision was being taken over by geometric patterns just flying right at me like they were gonna hit me. I instantly became fearful. Then everything around me disappeared. Including my gf and my friend. I was in dmt world now. I saw circus themes and I heard evil circus music. I was freaking out not knowing wtf was going on. It all happened so fast. And then all these circus themed patterns shifted and I was in a room.

The room was checkered black and white with a twirling column-like thing in the middle of the room. There were boxes everywhere. Each box had a different pattern that were changing every microsecond. I saw eyes. I saw sharp teeth. I saw unimaginable shapes. And on top each of these boxes were jesters. Their faces looked evil. Their teeth were so sharp and they had so many. One was doing this weird dance. Another was juggling his own body parts. The boxes and the jesters were zooming in at me incredibly fast and when one box and jester would disappear another one would appear. It was never ending. Keep in mind literally everything was in black and white. The jesters were pointing at me laughing at me. They were like whispering all these bad things that were already planted into my subconscious mind. For example, me and my gf were having problems at the time. So the jesters would say that she was gonna leave me. I heard more laughing. And then just like that.. It was over. I was back in this reality.

I saw my friend and gf looking back at me. "What happened?" They asked. And i started crying. I didn't even know what happened. It happened so fast. It was so unreal but real at the same time. It was terrifying. I have never felt more scared. I didn't know what was real anymore.

Take this as a lesson. Dont abuse dmt. It is not a recreational drug. It is sacred. I definitely learned my lesson. To this day whenever I see a clown, anything checkered, sharp teeth, or anything I saw in the trip I think about the jesters and I get the chills. I still remember the feeling of terror and confusion. Its one thing to hear about it but it is entirely different to experience it, especially considering it was my first time.