There’s just something I really feel like I have to say to all of the DMs out there who have started playing dnd with 5e - in the wake of all the dnd actual play shows in popular media and the huge explosion of new people playing D&D.

There’s a really bad culture out there that I think impacts both DMs and players negatively - with all of the actual play DM worship out there (many of whom I love too), I think the newer community sees the experience of a D&D game to be 80-90% the responsibility of the DM. It’s not, I don’t think it was ever meant to be. Matt Mercer is a great DM, but the magic of that show comes just as much from the players as it does from him. I sense this crazy pressure that newer DMs talk about to create content and to be a good DM for their players.

I started DMing when I was 12, during the days of 4e, I was terrible at it, my high school friends and I had a blast anyway. There was no expectation on the DM to do accents well, to be a good storyteller, or to write any extensive world or lore. I still often did these things because I had a lot of fun doing them, but our best sessions were usually the ones I prepped for the least. Being a DM wasn’t a part time job, and it should never feel like it is - I’ve just heard so many DMs talk about the prep they do for DMing like it’s a grueling job or at least stressful because they don’t want to make a mistake or create content that their players won’t be happy with. It shouldn’t be a job, it should be a game.

I just wanted to say to all the DMs out there:

• There is no ‘succeeding’ or ‘failing’ as a DM.

• DMing and D&D prep shouldn’t feel like a part time job that you HAVE to do.

• You are not a human video game/content-creator/writer delivering content one-way to your players.

• You are not the one person who is responsible for a good game or a bad game.

• Every person at the table has the same level of responsibility in the game. The DM just has a little more homework between sessions.

I’m just feel so bad seeing all of these stressed out DMs so concerned whether their players will “like their campaign.” This whole way of thinking would have made no sense to me as a DM years ago - there’s this implication that we as DMs are these suppliers of content - we’re not. We’re playing a game with our friends. On top of all of this is that you might be missing out on tons of amazing ideas from your players about the world and anything else related to the game, players have great ideas and they love to have an active part in things.

Yes - do read the rules, do write things down and come up with cool ideas, do come up with funny accents and silly and evil characters, just don’t put that pressure on yourself that your ‘content’ won’t be ‘good enough’, it’s not how D&D is meant to be, at least imo. If you’re having fun and your players are having fun, that’s all that matters.

Having a good game of D&D isn’t on you, it’s on everyone. That is all 🧙‍♂️

Happy rolling everyone 🎲

EDIT: Lots of good comments people have made. I think even in some there is this fundamental idea that “it’s up to the dm” to do so many things. I’m realizing what I’m talking about might be a bigger issue than I thought, that might involve how many people have come into D&D through dnd actual play shows.

In my mind, every player is on a fundamentally equal level in terms of contributing to the game, the DM is just another person on the improv team, we all have each other’s backs. Sure we play more characters than other players and come up with cool things, but that’s really it to me. I’m not saying we shouldn’t prep or anything, but it’s really crazy how much it seems DMs put on themselves in their role.

I’m going to do a lot more thinking and discussing on this, I think some of the older DMs have experienced what I’m talking about. It’s really a different base assumption about the dynamic of the game.

EDIT: Moral of the story: The dynamic I’ve seen of the DM as the primary “creator of content” for the players to consume to their disappointment or satisfaction is a terrible one that stresses out new DMs and encourages complacency in players. It’s possible for it to create a really bad feedback loop also, because we as DMs can get the idea that we need to prep harder and better, and get better with voices in order to make up the gap and have a better game.

Don’t stretch yourself into burnout, the magic is in the give and take - you should feel like you’re taking as much as you’re giving when you’re at the table.