Hi,

I've been a DM for about 3 years and whenever i've been dming, i've always had so much stress that i start to panic every single time. I never found any ways to fix that problem of mine. I also have alot of difficulty to describing locations, characters or events because of how i fear of being judge.

So why i'm explaining all this is because i really tried everything i know and i really want to dm as it started to become a passion but i'm having so much trouble that i just can't. I like dming and it has become more than a hobby in these past years. I've become more and more interested in story telling, watching video and reading books about it but it never actually help.

Another issue that i have is no matter how many hours i put into any campaign, i never feel like i'm ready and whenever i feel ready, i'm crippled by the stress and panic that i get just before the game start and sometime, it's to a point that i start to stutter or stop making sense or leave the call in shame. (I do my campaign online)

To be honest, i am really looking for someone who might have had the same issue or can help. There is not many people i know that DM and i would really hope for someone who could lend me a hand in anyway. I know i might be asking for alot and i am mostly hoping for a christmas miracle here but yea, who knows.

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TL;DR No matter how much i prepared, i never feel like i am. I always stress and get panic attack whenever i start a game.

Edit: Thank you for the support and for the help everyone. I really felt down and that actually helped me alot. I will see what the future hold and hopefully i will get back on dming.